Painful Goodbyes

Nothing has prepared us for the grief of saying goodbye to our host families. After only two months of staying, we were not expecting to find it so difficult to leave them behind - knowing that we may never see them again. "Mungu akipenda, tutoanana tena" - "if God wishes, we will see you again" - this was the refrain we heard and said often.

The farewells started on Friday night, after a week of preparation - shopping for gifts for our host families and friends, preparing for packing and travel, discussion about who to support in Tanzania and how to deal with the barrage of financial requests hitting us throughout the week. This was not a deterrent to friendship, as we have learned that in Tanzanian friendships, requesting money does not demonstrate a lack of care or a desire to use you but demonstrates respect and trust. Friday evening, Bob and I took Mama Sweya and her relatives and the children staying in her house out to supper at a fancy restaurant overlooking Bukoba. WHAT an experience! In spite of what we thought was food heaven (western food!), our African friends weren't so keen - especially on coleslaw. We waited an our for our food and gave out wrapped gifts. Ema, age 4, was the first - and didn't respond to the gift as a North American child would but rather with shock and confusion - "what do I do with this?" The other children figured it out as they watched him, and they were bouncing with excitement. Wrapped gifts are very unusual here.

Saturday night another party - this time with our whole team, plus two members from each household, plus some of the extra friends we'd made (some of the church elders, the only bibi - elderly lady - in the church, two women with AIDS that we have befriended and who are now attending the church and being cared for by the pastor's wife and other ladies). After supper (coleslaw again - our host family members avoided it) were the speeches and the emotion was thick - tears from many people, both us North Americans and our African friends. The emotion was surprising again, and very difficult, even though it was evidence of deep friendships that had been formed.

On Sunday we had a real treat! Beth, Kim, Bob and I danced with the choir finally - after weeks of practice and being too shy to actually join them during service. Chris preached, we all sang songs together, and then afterwards joined together for biscuits and sodas. Mama Sweya had decorated the church beautifully and we watched the choir sing for us. A number of our friends had written songs for us, which they sang (some in English and some in Swahili) alone - GUTSY. Tears flowed again. The mamas brought up gifts for the ladies, and the babas for the men, and then our host families brought up gifts for our parents! (So yes, Mom and Dad Wiens and Walker, you guys have gifts from our host parents!).

Monday morning at 6:30 am we all met at the bus station and painful goodbyes continued. At this point, many of us were numb from crying and just wanted to get it over with already! Three days of emotion is too much for anyone. When we finally boarded the bus, we had bags and bags of fried chicken, mandazi, and samosas for the trip - well loaded up for the ride home.

So now that part is over and the debrief has begun. So much to think over and consider. Tomorrow four of our team head to Canada and Bob and I, Gord and Carole, head to Nairobi and then to South Sudan. The adventures continue. I hope you are enjoying the journey with us!